Military Develops Water Sewage Cannons to Fire Back at Chinese Vessels

coast guard cutter

Millions of pounds of garbage and sewer water all piled up in Metro Manila’s filthy waterways maybe now be put to good use, thanks to an ingenious invention by a young Lieutenant from Pasig.

Lt. Genio Imbentor, a graduate of the Philippine Military Academy’s Masiglahi Class of 2009 invented a device that can propel either garbage, sewer water, or both at a distant target. The large 30-foot long metallic tube contraption resembles a German World War II-era 88mm anti-aircraft cannon, and uses the same natural gas extracted from the decaying garbage and sewer water as propellant. Garbage and sewer water can be aimed at a target up to half a kilometer away at an astonishing accuracy.

Lt. Imbentor says that he and the Engineering battalion he is assigned to have been testing the device for over a few months, using garbage and sewer water dredged from the Pasig river. They found that the quality of the decomposing garbage is perfect to ignite and propel the garbage and sewer at a long distance.

The young crafty lieutenant said that he came up with the idea after their unit was assigned to oversee dredging work along the Pasig river about three years ago, when he noticed the pungent smell the retrieved rubbish and sewage was emanating. He had suspicion that it could be natural gas. He then held a lighter next to the decaying black sludge and the resulting combustion blew him and three others away at least 15 feet.

“We were lucky we had protective suits on. Otherwise, we would have been dead by then,” Imbentor said.

At that point, he did some research and found blueprints of old German World War II era 88mm anti-aircraft cannons, to which he designed the garbage cannons from.

Imbentor claims that his invention can be the perfect retaliatory device against the water cannons the Chinese Navy used to drive Filipino fishermen away from the disputed Scarborough Shoals, just recently.

“The tests have so far been a success, and we have been contacted by the Navy so the device can be used for the country’s defense,” Imbentor revealed.

Eritas Times was able to get in touch with the Assistant Chief of Naval Staff for Operations (N3) Captain Likasna Mandaragat to confirm Imbentor’s revelation, but the Captain only said that “it is a matter of national security, and I cannot confirm nor deny Lt. Imbentor’s statement.”

Calls to GHQ-J3 in Camp Aguinaldo have not been returned as of this writing.