Aquino Orders the Release of Janet Napoles from Prison

napoles-de lima

In a shocking development, the Philippine Department of Justice (DOJ), under orders from Malacanang, today released Janet Lim-Napoles, the suspected mastermind of the controversial pork barrel scam from prison. The DOJ cited the government’s inability to pay for the cost of her incarceration, and lack of evidence as reasons for Napoles’ untimely release.

DOJ Secretary Leila de Lima said that the government can no longer sustain Napoles’ incarceration due to lack of funding, lack of evidence, and Napoles’ refusal to incriminate the members of congress whom she had allegedly sent millions in kick backs to.

De Lima said that the government has done as much as it can within its powers to get Napoles to confess her alleged involvement in the scandal, but it had failed to gain credible evidence and failed to get Napoles to pin the senators and other members of congress to the allegations set forth by the whistle-blowers. They have tried everything in the book, and went as far as piping in depressing music — looped to play 24 hrs a day for two weeks — into Napoles’ cell.

“Sinubukan na namin lahat, kahit magpatugtog ng depressing music, para lang ma coerce siya to tell all,” De Lima said. “But that didn’t work either,” she adds.

When asked what songs they played, De Lima said that they downloaded MP3 copies of the songs “Sandra” by Barry Manilow,Β and the 1971 hit “Bobby, Bobby, Bobby” by Vilma Santos. They loaded them into an MP3 player and had the songs played in a continuous loop, 24 hours a day in Napoles’ prison cell for two weeks straight.

According to De Lima however, instead of driving Napoles into a confession, the songs appeared to have a positive effect on her, even to the point where it raised her spirits. Indeed, surveillance videos show Napoles dancing to the beat of Β “Bobby, Bobby, Bobby” after a week, making the strategy a miserable failure.

Janet Lim-Napoles voluntarily surrendered to president Aquino several months over a year ago, after she was bared as the alleged mastermind by several whistle-blowers, lead by her former employee Ben Hur Luy, of a kick back scheme with some members of congress. The illegal setup entailed funneling millions of pesos intended for development projects at the lawmakers’ congressional districts, into the private pockets of the lawmakers who were involved.

Napoles is now in an undisclosed location. However, rumor has it that she is applying to immigrate to China to work for the Chinese government, financing projects for communications company ZTE, and handling finances for other government officials.

Her attorney has yet to make a statement as of this writing.